Brenda Fay Grandi

“Animals don’t lie. Animals don’t criticize. If animals have moody days, they handle them better than humans do.” — Betty White

“Animal nobility is a real teaching. Thanks to them, we are more modest, more empathetic, more affectionate people. They give us their love unconditionally, without asking for anything in return, they do us good." - Keanu Reeves

“Maybe the reason I love animals so much is because the only time they have broken my heart is when theirs has stopped beating.”

- Unknown

Brenda Fay Grandi (Antosh)

January 27, 1952 - June 14, 2025

Brenda was born on January 27th, 1952 to Lois and Henry “Hank” Antosh in Inglewood, California. She was an original California girl, just like the song by her favorite band, The Beach Boys.

After spending her first childhood years on California beaches, her family moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma where Brenda attended elementary school at Carnegie, then middle school at Nimitz.

It was during these years her calling as a creature caregiver truly blossomed. Brenda was an animal whisperer of sorts. She befriended and cared for a wide variety of creatures throughout her vibrant life.

Brenda had a small flock of pet pigeons. Her father Hank was so inspired by her animal loving spirit that he built a wooden pigeon coop for her winged friends. Her mother Lois however had gotten tired of the birds as they would poop all over the back yard. Lois attempted several times to free the pigeons and relocate them in the wild, but the pigeons would fly back home to Brenda and her cozy coop!

Brenda once had a pet rat named Herman that would ride around on her shoulders or cling onto her dress.

She once caught a seagull in midair with her bare hands.

Brenda deeply loved horses, and she would regularly ride her horse Chet the Jet bareback through her neighborhood.

Brenda would ride her bicycle down her neighborhood streets with a collection of the neighborhood dogs in tow, as she called them all by their names like her own personal entourage. “C’mom Lady! C’mon Spot! C’mon Thunder!” As she yelled while the wind blew her ribboned hair.

Brenda’s favorite pet that she talked about the most in her life was her childhood dog, Thunder, her first german shepherd. She loved Thunder with all her heart. Brenda and Thunder were inseparable as they were the ones leading the pack of neighborhood dogs down the street. But one day, Thunder reportedly bit someone in the neighborhood, and her mother, Lois, was allegedly forced to put Thunder down. Brenda was so traumatized by this she talked about it for the rest of her life. Her mother, an incredibly talented wood sculptor, carved a 14 inch tall wooden likeness of Thunder for Brenda, perhaps from a deep sense of regret seeing the heartbreak in her daughter’s eyes. Brenda’s love for German Shepherds grew more intense, and she would later in life rescue several more, naming one of them Thunder in her original friend’s memory.

Brenda attended Memorial high school in Tulsa and graduated class of 1970. This is where she made some of her closest childhood friends who would be by her side to this day. She loved to have fun, loved to laugh, and definitely was a risk taker. Her best friend Donna and her would cruise up and down Peoria in one of her unreasonably cool cars, probably her Mach 1 Mustang. They would be casually drinking a bottle of liquor in the car because according to Brenda, “then the cops only cared about finding weed.”

Brenda tried a couple years of college out at OSU but decided it wasn’t for her. She eventually began working for American Airlines from where her father Hank worked for 25 years and retired. It was at that job that she met the father of her two children. She then gave birth to Ginger Jones in 1980, and Rhett Jones in 1982.

Brenda was a devoted mother, as she gladly quit her job to raise her children for the first 7 years. She was able to provide a strong foundation to her children that was full of love and abundance. This time was full of the joyous memories of large dinners with the family every night, elaborate birthdays, sleepovers with neighbor kids, holidays at grandmas, playing with cousins, lots of dogs and puppies, play dates, and family reunions.

She then went back to work at American Airlines in 1987 in System Security. She once claimed that she had the clearance to shut down the activities of the entire airport on a whim, a statement that at the time didn’t carry quite the scary weight as it would now. One of the best benefits of working for American Airlines at the time was flying for free, so Brenda would take her whole family on multiple vacations. Her benefit was for standby, and often the empty seats would be in first class. Rhett and Ginger definitely felt like royalty walking onto the plane many times as they would fly to San Diego to see Sea World, Brenda’s favorite theme park, or to see Disney Land, Hawaii, Key West, and others.

Brenda met her husband, Victor “Vic” Grandi, a Navy and Army veteran from New Jersey, and they married in Las Vegas in 1996 at the Graceland wedding chapel. The first thing Vic noticed about Brenda was her beautiful hazel green eyes, her smile and sense of humor. He would recall that she was beautiful, funny, playful, and deeply loving. She took care of Vic, always made sure he was well fed, comfortable, relaxed, and loved. She once said that she loved that he was a big strong Italian man. She never felt so feminine and beautiful with anyone else. They took really good care of each other up to the very end.

In 2004, Brenda lost both of her parents. This was one of the worst years for her. It was then that she decided to take early retirement and focus on healing and her family. The following year, her son Rhett joined the navy and eventually moved to Japan. Brenda was immensely devastated that Rhett moved so far away, but was deeply proud of her veteran son.

In 2009, the unthinkable happened and Brenda was diagnosed with lung cancer at the age of 57. Just when her family thought this was the end, through chemotherapy and radiation she miraculously went into full remission. She was a statistical anomaly. Although she would be in remission for the remainder of her life, Brenda would express on an ongoing basis about the drastic toll the cancer treatment took on her body and brain. This was the beginning of her chronic fatigue, and she would often feel the need to nap or sleep more frequently throughout the day. Oftentimes she would be talking to her kids on the phone or husband and state she needed to be left alone to go lay down.

In 2018, Brenda’s first grandchild and Rhett’s son was born: Leo Jaxon Jones, in Boston. Then in 2020, her second grandchild and Rhetts daughter was born: Yana Nola Dahlia Jones, in Boston.

By the time Leo was born, Brenda was having many health problems that decreased her mobility and comfort, and traveling was becoming more difficult. Despite this, she was able to travel one time with Vic to Boston to finally meet Leo in 2019. She loved Leo with all her heart and expressed how excited she was to see so much of Rhett in him. By the time Yana was born, it was 2020 and the beginning of the pandemic which brought all planned visits to a halt.

By 2023, Brenda’s health continued to steadily decline with overall debility, weight loss, heart and lung diseases. She started going into the hospital by the end of 2023, with several repeated hospitalizations to follow throughout the remainder of her life. Rhett knew he had to bring her grandchildren home to see her as every new moment with her was growing more uncertain.

In August of 2024, Rhett brought Leo and Yana to see their “G-ma” at her home in Foyil, Oklahoma. Brenda was overjoyed when the grandkids walked in to see her, especially because this was her first and only time meeting Yana, who was 4 years old at the time. Leo and Yana hopped into G-ma’s recliner with her and embraced for a prolonged beautiful moment. Leo and Yana were so excited to see both G-ma and G-pa (Vic) and asked them all kinds of questions. Brenda and Vic had lived on this stunning rural property now for 21 years, and it wasn’t like anything the grandkids had seen. Leo and Yana got to be country kids for a few days as they played in the grass and trees, watched in fascination the trains, played with rocks near a drainage ditch, and saw cows and horses.

During Brenda’s final hospitalization, Ginger was in Boston visiting Rhett and the kids. Vic had called with heart wrenching news during this time that their mother’s heart had stopped and she was on life support. Leo and Yana saw that Dadda and Auntie Gingy were crying and asked why. When the kids were told the news they became quiet in the car ride back to Rhett’s home. Then Yana said she wanted to go to Oklahoma to see G-ma. Leo also said several times that he wanted to go back to Oklahoma.

Brenda was taken off life support and passed away peacefully at 7:45 in the morning of June 14th, 2025. Although she was surrounded by family during most of her last 15 hours of life, she waited until after Vic left her bedside at 6:45 to pass away. Brenda wanted to be left alone to sleep one last time.

Brenda Grandi was a beautiful, athletic, loving, motherly, loyal human who loved very hard. Her big feelings and her big love could fill up all the oceans on earth. She often claimed she loved animals more than people, but she deeply and passionately loved her family more than anything. She loved her family more than herself, more than life, and she was never afraid to show it. The world has lost a beaming light of love, and it will never be the same again. But her spirit is living on within all of her loved ones, friends, and her beloved animals. She is free, far away from pain and suffering, in heaven playing with her dogs Toby, Taco, Thunder, and all the rest of her beloved fur babies.

Brenda is survived by her husband, Victor Grandi, her daughter Ginger Jones, her son Rhett Jones, her grandson Leo Jones, her granddaughter Yana Jones, and her cat Fargo.

She is additionally survived by many distant family members including nieces, nephews, cousins, and others.